Sign language and body movements. Learning to understand body language

Body language is an unconscious communication technique consisting of a set of gestures, signs and postures. With their help, true feelings, emotions, thoughts and ideas of a person are encoded. Our subconscious mind reads the body language and gestures of any person. We recognize lies on an intuitive level. But we suppress intuition based on rational reasoning.

If you want to understand the people around you and learn how to recognize lies, hypocrisy or reticence, learning body language will help you. This science is useful not only for businessmen, even common man it is interesting to watch politicians, stars, friends and recognize lies in their speech. Or watch an action movie and understand the special sign language of the special forces. Knowledge of body language and gestures is included in the list of mandatory skills for all people, especially for those who have to communicate a lot, speak, manage people at work.

Lies can be recognized by facial expressions and gestures. The main mimic signs of a lie:

• If the sides of the face are asymmetrical, this is a sign of a lie or reticence. The face works in sync if the person is telling the truth, and asymmetry is a sign of hidden feelings.
• Sincere feelings change quickly. Therefore, emotions frozen on the face for 5 or more seconds are insincere.
• Real feelings appear at the same time as words. If they are even a fraction of a second late, chances are you are talking to a liar.

By gestures, it is not difficult to recognize a liar if you carefully observe him. Lying gestures include:

• the interlocutor often touches his face with his hands;
• the interlocutor covers his mouth with his hand;
• rubs his eyes with his palms;
• constantly touches the collar.

Remember that it is impossible to confirm the lie of the interlocutor only by one gesture or mimic sign. It is necessary to evaluate a set of indicators.

To learn to recognize a lie, communicate more often and pay attention to the facial expressions and gestures of the interlocutor. People who are interested in how to recognize a lie in the eyes are sure that looking away means a lie. Do not rush to conclusions, looking away means that during communication the interlocutor remembers something.

Practice more often. Communicate with people, watch photos and videos of politicians' speeches to automatically respond to lies.

Illustrator gestures

Illustrators are a type of gesture that is used to complement the information being expressed. These are not necessarily hand gestures. Illustrators include facial expressions, or slight turns of the torso. A person subconsciously uses illustrators when he cannot express his thoughts in words.

Remember, the use of illustrators in speech is a sign of a person's sincerity. When gestures are present in a conversation, the interlocutor feels relaxed, he experiences true emotions.

Illustrators include:

• gestures that repeat information;
• gestures that complement information;
• gestures that replace words.

A classic example of illustrators is the indication of the direction of movement. When you explain the way, with your hands you indicate the direction to the left, at the same time pronouncing it in words.

AT educational institutions professors constantly use illustrators in lectures. Scientists have proven that we perceive only 5% of speech, if it is not supported by illustrators. The teacher uses gestures to focus on important points.

Gestures-regulators

Regulators are gestures that regulate the conversation. They are especially important at the beginning and end of a conversation. A classic example of regulators is the handshake. It speaks volumes. Too short and weak handshake means indifference or contempt. A moderately long handshake combined with a friendly smile is the disposition of the interlocutor. But too long a handshake indicates the interlocutor's desire to control you.

But this is not the only regulator. They also include:

• head nods - mean the interlocutor's desire to speed up the conversation;
• slow nods of the head - sincerity and interest in the conversation;
• hands in pockets - secrecy of the interlocutor and unwillingness to tell the whole truth;
• index finger raised up - the desire to briefly interrupt the dialogue.

Regulators are not a sign of lies, but they speak about the desires of the interlocutor during the dialogue and about his attitude towards the conversation.

Sign language around the world

If you do not know a foreign language well, then with the help of gestures you will convey information or a question to people, if you apply them correctly. AT different countries one gesture means completely different information.

Some countries (UK, Switzerland, North America) imply literal communication. A resident of the country will perceive everything that you say in words. And the French, Japanese or Italians will pay attention to the gestures and subtext of the conversation. Therefore, it is important to know the features of gestures in the countries of the world. An interpreter is often useless in such a case, since he translates words, but not gestures, and this is important for most countries.

Features of gestures that will surprise you:

• In most European countries, shaking the head in different directions means denial, refusal. In India, Bulgaria and Greece, the same gesture means agreement, and a nod means refusal.
• In countries with a Buddhist religion, stroking a child's head is perceived with aggression, as it is considered an invasion of personal space.
• Our usual gesture, when we twist our finger at the temple, is interpreted by the French as stupidity, by the Dutch as intelligence. And in the UK, this phrase is: "live your mind."
• Avoid touching your earlobe in the presence of Spaniards. This gesture implies that you want to say about the presence of a homosexual in the company.
• Learn how to properly use the "ok" gesture when the thumb and forefinger touch. In Russia, it means approval, but in different countries it means different words. In France, it means something that is not worth attention, in Turkey it indicates a homosexual, the Japanese show money in this way, and the Syrians in this way indicate a dismissive attitude.
• The thumb, which protrudes upwards, serves to stop the transport. Europeans, jerking their hand in this position in the direction of the shoulder, indicate neglect. In Greece, this gesture indicates that the interlocutor is silent.
• Do not show the Greeks a palm with spread fingers, turned away from you. It offends them.
• The Japanese give gifts with both hands. Presenting with one hand is an insult.
• If you show an Italian your folded palm, he will think that you are demanding an explanation from him.
• In Pakistan, don't clap if you're a man, as two claps means you're gay.
• The Spaniards and Italians, showing a gesture with a protruding index finger and little finger, known to us as a rock gesture, means that the person points out to the interlocutor that the spouse is cheating.
• Don't cross your fingers at random in Vietnam - that's an obscene gesture.
• Do not look the African interlocutor in the eye. A long look is indecent.
• Winking at an Indian girl is an offer of sexual activities.

A universal gesture that in every country will give joy and goodwill to the interlocutor is a smile. Smile and you will be understood correctly.

Body language in sleep

During communication, we control gestures and facial expressions. But in a dream, we relax and body language is interpreted correctly. Human psychology is arranged in such a way that postures in a dream say a lot:

• Embryo - a person curls up in a dream and bends his knees under him. Hands wrap around legs. Posture means the closeness of a person, uncertainty. He needs care and protection. Human psychology is not able to endure severe stress, he often worries.
• The prone position in a dream - the person lies on his stomach and straightens as far as he can. Hands are spread out on the edges of the bed, above the head. The psychology of posture touches on the topic of control. A person wants to control all the events of his life by any means. But this answer is ambiguous. In fact, a person is vulnerable and vulnerable. He does not like surprises and lies, and therefore seeks to keep everything under control.
• A person in a dream lies on his back in a free position. He is relaxed and at peace. In life, a person feels like a leader, and during communication - the main one. He achieves his goals and confidently walks through life.
• A person who in a dream lies on his side with half-bent knees is rational, self-confident. He is able to plan life and adequately assess the situation.

In a dream, a person does not control body language, so one can tell about his attitude to the world by seeing the pose.

James Borg "Body Language"

James Borg, who wrote the book Body Language, believes that more than half of the information we perceive is conveyed through gestures. The author in his work has compiled seven lessons, each of which will bring you closer to the goal - to learn to read the emotions and thoughts of people around you, recognize lies and truth and apply the knowledge gained to achieve practical tasks.

"Body language" will teach you the main thing - to control your own gestures and facial expressions in order to convey to the interlocutors the information that you need.

Reviews of the book are positive, readers note the practical rather than theoretical benefits of the manual. Therefore, we recommend reading "Body Language" to anyone who in everyday life is faced with the need to talk and negotiate.

Gorilla that understands sign language

In 1971, a gorilla named Koko was born in San Francisco. She is amazing in that she can not only understand, but also speak sign language. She communicates to zookeepers about her desires, preferences, or bad condition with the help of gestures.

The gorilla conveys emotions and feelings no worse than people. For example, she does not like to swim. When shown a photograph of a monkey about to be bathed, the gorilla revealed that she would cry in the same setting.

The animal loves to joke. One day she called herself a bird and said that she could fly. The gorilla later admitted that she was joking.

Koko understands the concepts: present, past and future.

One day a gorilla asked to be allowed to have a pet. The caretakers brought several kittens to Koko, she chose one and looked after him, played with him and rolled on his back. Unfortunately, the kitten escaped from the cage and was hit by a car. Koko, after the situation, showed with gestures that the cat was sleeping. When she saw a photo of a similar kitten, she gestured sadness and sadness.

Sign language (dactyl learning)

If you want your child to learn sign language, then Sign Language (Dactyl Learning) app will help you. The application is designed for children and contains many pictures with gestures. The application's word base is wide. There are theoretical and practical lessons, a dictionary of gestures.

There is no better tool for learning body language for babies, as numerous reviews say.

Masonic signs

Masons are a secret organization with ideas, customs and ideals. The goal of the organization is to change the world for the better, but its members are labeled evil and worship Satan. In fact, Freemasonry is a kind of religion. But the members of the organization put themselves above religions, associations and parties.

Masonic gestures are often used among us, although we do not even notice it. Scientists-researchers assure that every gesture can be called Masonic, if it is properly considered. With their help, members of the organization found each other back in the 18th century. This trend has continued to this day.

There is a judgment that a handshake, in which the little finger is protruded and concave inward, is considered a Masonic greeting.

To believe or not secret signs, everyone decides for himself. But do not look for a Masonic sign in every gesture. The signs used by people around the world may have come from a secret organization, but today they serve other purposes.

Sign language for toddlers

Scientists have found that teaching sign language to toddlers who cannot speak contributes to the rapid development of spoken language in the future. With the help of sign language, the mother learns what the child wants, why he is sad or what hurts him. Knowledge of sign language saves parents from crying and tantrums of a child who cannot convey to parents the reasons for concern. Recognize the condition of the child by following the gestures:

Body language is an assistant in any communication with people. Knowing the basic movements and gestures, you will be able to recognize lies and feel the true attitude of the interlocutor towards you.

It often happens that, starting to communicate with strangers, we feel sympathy and trust for one of them from the very first seconds of our communication, in relation to others - a clear negative, and still others - remain a mystery to us for some time. The fact is that the transfer of information occurs not only through words, that is, at the verbal level, but also with the help of non-verbal means communication, which includes facial expressions, postures and gestures.

Our gestures are accurate indicators of the internal state, thoughts, emotions and true desires of a person, therefore, in the case when we hear one thing in words, but we see a discrepancy in the face and body of the interlocutor, doubts and distrust of the speaker arise in us. And it happens on a subconscious level. For some reason, we simply don’t like this person, and only after a while we find confirmation of this, we are convinced of the correctness of our first impression of him, exclaiming: “I felt it!”.

The fact is that words are easier to control, but gestures, gaze and body postures are the most difficult to control by will. Therefore, our "second language" is often more truthful and effective. This is what we observe when they try to deceive or confuse us, body language says something completely different than words, and for someone who we immediately liked, the words and gestures said the same thing, coincided and did not contradict each other.

By physical nature, gestures can be divided into two large groups: head and manual (manual). Manual gestures are performed with one or both hands, they are divided into subgroups: finger, wrist, elbow, shoulder and mixed.

The hand plays a special role in the gesture. R. Slavsky in the book “The Art of Pantomime” wrote: “The hand is the soul of the gesture. The brush calls, beckons, invites, repels, gives, takes, reproaches, tells, caresses, punishes, asks, sees off; in the hand, as well as in the whole hand, it is necessary to develop liveliness and plastic softness.

Rubbing the palms

psychodiagnostics gesture non-verbal profiling

By rubbing the palms people non-verbally communicate their positive expectations. The person throwing the die rubs it between his palms as a signal that he expects to win.

The master of ceremonies or master of ceremonies rubs his palms before saying, “We look forward to our next performer,” however, if a waiter comes to your table at the end of the evening and rubs his hands and asks, “What else would you like, sir?”, then the non-verbal message is that he is hinting at a tip.

The speed with which this gesture is performed signals the person who expects to receive positive results in this situation. For example, you want to buy a house and contact a real estate agent. After you describe the house you want to buy to him, he quickly rubs his palms and says, “I have just such a house for you!” Thus, the agent has signaled to you that the deal will be profitable for you. How will you feel if he slowly rubs his palms together, saying that he has an ideal place for you? He will seem cunning or dishonest to you, and you will have the feeling that the upcoming deal will be more profitable for him, and not for you. Salespeople are taught that if they use this gesture when describing their products or services potential buyers, they must make this movement quickly so as not to scare off the buyer.

When a buyer comes to the sellers with this gesture and says: “Come on, let's see what you have!”, This will mean that the buyer assumes that he will be presented with something nice, and that he will certainly make a purchase.

One warning : if you see a person rubbing his hands at a bus stop in winter, this does not necessarily mean that he is doing it out of impatience while waiting for the bus. His hands are just cold!

Rubbing the thumb against the index finger

Rubbing the thumb against the index finger or the tips of other fingers is commonly used to signify money and expect money to come in as payment. Sales agents often use this gesture when communicating with their customers. Or in a conversation between friends, this gesture can be used by the person lending money. But this gesture should be avoided by service personnel when working with customers.

Clasped fingers

At first glance, this may seem like a gesture of trust, because when people resort to it, they smile and feel happy. This gesture denotes disappointment and a person's desire to hide their negative attitude. This gesture has three variants: crossed fingers raised at face level, hands resting on the table, on the knees in a sitting position, or below in front of you in a standing position.

Spike hand position

This gesture has two options :

• - hands up
• - arms pointing down

The first position is usually taken when the speaker is expressing his opinion or expounding his ideas.

The second position is used when a person does not speak, but listens. .

Women are more likely to use the spire-down hand position than the spire-up. When, with the position of the hands with a spire up, the speaker's head is thrown back, he has a touch of complacency and arrogance. Although generally regarded as a positive signal, the spike gesture can be used in both positive and negative circumstances and can therefore be misinterpreted. For example, a sales agent offering his product to a potential buyer may notice a series of positive gestures from the buyer during the negotiation. It can be bare palms, and a forward tilt, and a raised head, etc.

Suppose that towards the end of the negotiation, the client makes a spike gesture. If this gesture, in response to the agent's offer to give his decision, is followed by a series of positive gestures, the agent will receive a signal that he can end the negotiations, ask about the order and be sure that he will follow. On the other hand, if the spike gesture (especially if it was done at the end of the product presentation) is followed by a series of negative gestures, such as crossing the arms on the chest, crossing the legs, shifting eyes and numerous gestures associated with the manipulation of hands near the face , then this indicates that the buyer has made a firm decision not to buy this product, and wants to get rid of the sales agent.

Laying hands behind the back

It has been observed that many male members of the British Royal Family have a habit of walking with their heads held high, their chins thrust out, and their hands clasped behind their backs. AT everyday life the gesture is used by a police officer on duty, a local school principal walking through the schoolyard, senior military officials, and people in positions of responsibility. Therefore, it is considered a gesture of a self-confident person with a sense of superiority over others. It allows a person with unconscious fearlessness to open their vulnerable areas of the body, such as the stomach, heart, throat.

The “hands behind the back” gesture is different from the “clasping hands behind the back with a grip on the wrist” gesture, which indicates that the person is upset and is trying to control himself. In this case, one hand grabs the wrist so tightly, as if it is trying to keep it from striking. Interestingly, the more angry a person is, the higher his hand moves along his back. This is where the expression "Pull yourself together!" came from.

Accentuation of the thumbs

In hand divination teachings, the thumbs signify the strength of character and the ego of the individual, and non-verbalism using the thumbs confirms this. Showing thumbs speaks of authority, superiority and even aggressiveness of a person.

However, this gesture must be considered in conjunction with other gestures. Open thumbs are a positive sign . Often the gesture is present in the pose of a stern boss in society with his subordinates. A man courting a woman uses this gesture in her presence, and it is most typical for people dressed in formal and prestigious clothes.

People wearing attractive new clothes use this gesture more often. , than people dressed in outdated, outdated clothes.

The thumbs, denoting superiority, become an even more eloquent gesture if a person says words that are completely opposite to the gesture. Thumbs very often peek out of a person's pockets , sometimes even from the back pockets of trousers to hide the dominance of a person in a given situation. Women also resort to this gesture. In addition, lovers of this gesture often stand on tiptoe to become taller.

Another popular gesture is the arms crossed over the chest with the thumbs held vertically. This gesture conveys a double signal - the first of a negative or defensive attitude (arms crossed) plus a sense of superiority (expressed by the thumbs). The person using this gesture usually plays with one or both fingers, and the standing position is characterized by swaying in heels. This gesture is not typical for women, although sometimes they also use it in relation to people they do not like.

Deception, lies, doubt

How do you know if a person is lying? These are gestures associated with touching hands to the face. . When we watch or hear others tell lies or lie ourselves, we make an attempt to cover our mouth, eyes, or ears with our hands. . If a small child is lying, he will cover his mouth with his hand in an attempt to stop the lying words coming out of his mouth. If he does not want to listen to the lectures of his parents, he simply plugs his ears with his fingers or covers his ears with his hands. . If he sees something that he would not like to see, he covers his eyes with his hands . When a person grows up, his gestures, using hands near his face, become more subtle and less noticeable, but they still take place , If this gesture is used by a person at the time of speech, this indicates that he is telling a lie. However, if he covers his mouth with his hand while you speak , and he listens, it means that he feels you are lying! One of the most depressing scenes for a speaker is the view of the audience, where everyone has their hands to their mouths during the speech. . In a small audience or one-on-one communication, it would be wise to pause your message and address the audience with the question, “Would anyone like to comment on what I said?” This will allow the audience to voice their objections, and you will be given the opportunity to clarify your statements and answer questions.

Mouth protection with hand

Protecting the mouth with the hand is one of the few gestures of an adult and has the same meaning as a child's gesture.

The hand covers the mouth and the thumb is pressed to the cheek, while the brain at the subconscious level sends signals to hold back the spoken words. Sometimes it may be only a few fingers at the mouth or even a fist, but the meaning of the gesture remains the same. Some people try to fake a cough to disguise this gesture. .

Touch on the nose

In essence, a touch on the nose is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. It can be expressed in a few light touches to the dimple under the nose. , or be expressed with one quick, almost imperceptible touch. Some women do this gesture very carefully so as not to smudge the lipstick and damage the makeup.

One of the explanations for the nature of this gesture is that when bad thoughts enter the consciousness, the subconscious tells the hand to cover the mouth, but at the very last moment, out of a desire to disguise this gesture, the hand is pulled away from the mouth, and a light touch to the nose is obtained. .

Another explanation may be that during the lie there are ticklish urges on the nerve endings of the nose, and one really wants to scratch the nose to get rid of them. “But what if a person just often itches his nose?” If the nose itches, then the person will intentionally scratch or scratch it, which is different from lightly touching the nose with a hand in a situation of deception. Like touching your mouth, touching your nose can be used both by the speaker to disguise his own deceit, and by the listener who doubts the sincerity of the speaker's words.

Rubbing the century

This gesture is caused by the desire in the brain to hide from the deceit, suspicion, or lies it faces, or the desire to avoid looking into the eyes of the person it is telling a lie. Men usually rub their eyelids in a very vigorous manner, and if the lie is very serious, they look away, usually to the floor. Women do this movement very delicately. , running a finger under the eye.

This can be caused by two reasons:

• - due to their upbringing, they are not familiar with rude gestures;
• - caution movements due to the presence of makeup on the eyelids. Averting their eyes to the side, they look at the ceiling. The expression "Lying through your teeth" is known. . This expression refers to a complex of gestures consisting of clenched teeth and a forced smile, rubbing the eyelid with a finger and looking away. Movie actors use this complex gesture to portray the insincerity of their characters, but in real life this gesture is rare.

Ear scratching and rubbing

In fact, this gesture is caused by the desire of the listener to isolate himself from words by placing his hand near or above the ear. This gesture is an adult modification of the gesture of a small child when he plugs his ears so as not to listen to the reproaches of his parents. Other options for touching the ear are rubbing the pinna, drilling into the ear (with the tip of a finger), pulling on the earlobe, or bending the ear in an attempt to cover the ear opening. This last gesture indicates that the person has heard enough and wants, perhaps, to speak out.

Neck scratching

In this case, a person scratches the place under the earlobe or the side of the neck with the index finger of the right hand. Our observations of this gesture revealed an interesting point: a person usually makes five scratching movements . Very rarely, the number of scratches will be less than five or more than five. This gesture speaks of a person's doubt and insecurity. , who says "I'm not sure I agree with you." It is especially striking if it is contrary to verbal language, for example, if a person says something like: "I perfectly understand how you feel."

Collar pull

In a study of people's gestures accompanying their lies, Desmond Morris noticed that lying causes an itchy sensation in the delicate muscle tissues of the face and neck, and scratching is required to soothe these sensations. This seems to be an acceptable explanation for why some people pull back their collar when they lie and suspect that their deception has been discovered. Also, the scammer seems to have beads of sweat on his neck when he senses that you have suspected a hoax.

This gesture is also used when a person is angry or upset, while he pulls the collar from the neck to cool it with fresh air. When you see a person making this gesture, you can ask him, "Could you repeat that?" or “Could you clarify this point?” And this will make the deceiver refuse to continue his cunning game.

fingers in mouth

Man lays down fingers in the mouth in condition strong oppression . It is man's unconscious attempt to return to that safe, unclouded time in infancy when the child suckled at its mother's breast. A small child sucks his finger, and as for an adult, in addition to his finger, he puts into his mouth such objects as cigarettes, pipes, pens, and the like. While the gestures associated with covering the mouth with the hand indicate deceit, the fingers in the mouth indicate an internal need for approval and support. Therefore, when this gesture appears, it is necessary to support the person or assure him with guarantees.

Supporting the palm of the cheek and chin

A good lecturer is one who instinctively senses when his audience is interested in what he is saying and when they have lost interest. .

Boredom

When the listener begins to put his hand in order to lean his head on it , this is a sure sign that he is bored and props his head up with his hand to keep himself awake. The degree of boredom correlates with the severity of using the hand as a support. Extreme boredom and lack of interest are seen when the head is completely on the hand, and the absolute signal of boredom is if a person lies with his head on the table and snores!

Estimated relations

A person takes an evaluative posture if he props up his cheek with his fingers clenched into a fist, and the index finger rests on the temple.

If a person loses interest, but politely wants to appear interested, their posture will change slightly so that the head rests on the base of the palm. . When the index finger is pointing vertically towards the temple and the thumb supports the chin , this indicates that the listener has a negative or critical attitude towards the lecturer or the subject of his message. Often, the index finger may rub or pull on the eyelid as the negative thoughts thicken. The longer a person maintains these gestures, the longer his critical attitude will last. . This gesture is a signal that the speaker needs to do something urgently, either to try to captivate the listener with the content of his message, or to round off his speech. An easy way is to give him something to support and thereby change his posture. The gesture of critical evaluation is often confused with a signal of interest, but with a critical attitude, there will definitely be a chin propped up with the thumb.

Chin stroking

The next time you have the opportunity to pitch an idea to a group of people, watch carefully for their reaction as you do so, and you'll pick up a lot of fun. Most, if not all, members of your group will bring one hand up to their face and begin to make judgmental gestures. . When you come to the end of your presentation and ask the members of the group to give their opinion or suggestion regarding your idea, the appraisal gestures will disappear. Your listeners will have one hand move to their chin and begin stroking their chin. .

This "chin stroke" gesture means that the person is trying to make a decision. The following signals will tell you whether their decision will be positive or negative. If, for example, after this gesture, he crosses his arms over his chest and crosses his legs, then leans back in his chair, then he received a non-verbal negative answer.

Rubbing the back of the head and slapping the forehead

If a person makes this gesture while uttering a lie, he averts his eyes and looks at the floor. This gesture is also a sign of frustration or anger. , but in this case, the hand first pats on the neck, and then begins to rub it. Let's suppose that you asked your subordinate to carry out your assignment, and that he forgot to do it by the required time. When you ask him about the results of the assignment, he will non-verbally answer that he forgot to do it, slapping himself on the forehead or on the neck, as if figuratively beating, punishing himself for forgetfulness.

Although a slap on the head usually indicates forgetfulness, the gesture also expresses their feelings towards you or the situation, depending on whether the slap is on the forehead or on the neck. If he slaps his forehead , he signals that he is not frightened by the fact that he showed his forgetfulness in front of you. But when he pats his neck, he informs you in such a non-verbal way that he is terribly unpleasant that you pointed out this mistake to him. People who have a habit of rubbing the back of their necks tend to be negative or critical of others, while those who habitually slap their foreheads in non-verbal acknowledgment of their mistake tend to be more open-minded people.

Arms crossed on chest

Express an attempt to hide from an unfavorable situation. The position of the hands in this gesture can be very diverse, in this book we will discuss the three most characteristic positions.

The typical, standard crossing of arms is a universal gesture, almost everywhere denoting the defensive or negative state of the person making this gesture. You can always see him watching a person in a crowd of strangers at social gatherings, in line, in cafeterias, in elevators and in other places where people feel insecure and insecure.

Crossing of arms, reinforced by clenching fingers into a fist

If, in addition to crossing the arms on the chest, a person still clenches his fingers into a fist, this indicates his hostile and offensive position. Often this is accompanied by clenched teeth and a flushed face, in which case a verbal or physical attack may follow. A soothing gesture using open palms is needed to discover the cause that led to such hostile gestures. The person using a series of these gestures is in an attacking position, as opposed to a person who has taken a defensive, defensive position with the help of crossing his arms over his chest.

Crossed hands on the shoulder part of the arm.

The hands dig into the shoulder of the opposite arm to secure the position of the hands, to exclude any attempt to open the arms and expose the chest to the blow. The hands can dig so hard into the shoulder that the fingers and knuckles turn white because blood does not flow to them.

This gesture can often be seen in the waiting room of a doctor or dentist, or in the cabin of an airplane before takeoff in people flying for the first time in an airplane. It means holding back negative feelings.

Incomplete hand barrier

If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, then it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete cross, in which one arm is placed across the body, secured to the other arm. This creates a barrier. A person often uses a hand barrier when in the company of strangers, or in the absence of self-confidence.

Another common variant of the incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands. . This gesture is commonly used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows the person to regain the sense of emotional security they experienced as a child when their parents held their hand under dangerous circumstances.

We noticed that the "spire" often occurs in the communication of the boss and subordinates.

This gesture speaks of confidence and authority. It is often used by managers when giving instructions to subordinates. The “spire” is especially common among lawyers, accountants and managers. top management. Such a gesture is characteristic of people who are confident in themselves and in their own superiority. He immediately makes it clear that such a person knows his worth.

Sometimes the "spire" develops into a prayer gesture - that is, a person wants to be like the Lord God himself. Often this gesture is perceived as a sign of arrogance and complacency.

President Chirac and Jerry Adams sometimes like to impersonate the Lord God himself

Using the Spire to Win Chess

Dropped spire

Women more often choose the second option of such a gesture. If the raised "spire" is accompanied by tilting the head back, you are dealing with a self-satisfied, arrogant person.

Although the “spire” is generally a positive signal, its meaning can be different in different situations.

If the “spire” is accompanied by a number of other positive gestures and appears at the moment when you tell the interlocutor about the possibility of solving his problem, then you can safely continue counting on a positive reaction. If the "spire" is accompanied by a chain of negative gestures - such as crossing arms or legs, looking away and putting hands to the face, the interlocutor is sure that he will be able to refuse you or get rid of you. In both cases, this gesture expresses confidence, but in one case the outcome of the conversation is positive, and in the other it is negative. The result is influenced by gestures around the "spire".

face demonstration

Demonstration of the face. This woman presents her face in the best possible way so that men can admire her

Hands folded behind the back

This gesture expresses superiority, confidence and authority. A person openly demonstrates his most vulnerable parts of the body: stomach, heart, groin and throat, subconsciously expressing his own fearlessness. Our experience is that by assuming a similar posture in a stressful situation, such as during an interview or in a dentist's office, you will immediately feel more confident and even authoritative. The law of cause and effect will come into play.

Gesture of superiority and confidence - back and front view

However, people do not always place their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Sometimes a person grabs his wrist with one hand with the other, as shown in the picture: (here are 2 pictures, which are a little lower).

This is a signal of dissatisfaction and an attempt to pull yourself together. One hand tightly wraps around the wrist or forearm of the other, as if trying to keep it from striking.

The higher the capture, the more dissatisfied or annoyed your interlocutor is. The man in the picture below on the right is struggling to contain himself. His mood is much more negative than that of the one depicted in the same picture on the left.

Grasp the wrist behind the back Grasp the arm above the elbow

Wrapping the arm behind the back is often seen in courtrooms when opponents face off. This is how patients stand waiting for the doctor. This gesture betrays an attempt to overcome nervousness. If this posture is also characteristic of you, try to change it to a palm-to-palm gesture. You will immediately feel more confident.

Show thumbs up

Thumb gestures are secondary and usually go in a chain. Showing the thumbs is a positive signal that is part of the posture of a confident person who wants to emphasize their own superiority. Men often use these gestures in the presence of attractive women. Such a posture is characteristic of people occupying a high position and well dressed. You are unlikely to see a bum in a similar position.

In this position, people often sway on their toes to visually increase their height.

Thumbs in pockets

Pay attention to the position of the interlocutor's thumbs, as they can give out a mood that contradicts the words. Imagine a lawyer who, speaking before a jury, says in a soft, low voice: “In my humble opinion, ladies and gentlemen...”, but at the same time he gives a thumbs up and throws his head back, literally “turning up his nose”.

The jury will immediately feel the insincerity and arrogance of the lawyer. If he really wanted to appear humble, he would have to approach the jury with his coat open, palms open, and leaning forward to appear shorter.

The thumb can be seen as a signal of disrespect or derision, especially if it is pointed in the direction of the interlocutor. For example, a husband chatting with buddies might point his thumb at his wife and say, "She's always nagging at me, asking for a fight." Naturally, such a gesture irritates most women, especially when it is made by a man. The habit of pointing with the thumb is unusual for women. They use this gesture extremely rarely and only in relation to people they actively dislike.

Showing thumbs is a sign of confidence and authority

“She always saws me!”

Summary

For thousands of years, thumbs have symbolized power and authority. AT Ancient Rome the thumb decided the fate of the gladiator. Raised, he gave life to a person, lowered - doomed him to death. Even an inexperienced person intuitively feels the meaning of thumb signals and understands their meaning. Now you can not only correctly decipher such gestures, but also use them to your advantage.

body language,

Almost every one of us was engaged in the study of foreign languages. However, there is another international language, public and understandable, about which little was known until recently - this is the language of gestures, facial expressions and body movements of a person.

Psychologists have found that in the process of communication between people, from 60 to 80% of the message is conveyed through non-verbal means of expression, and only 20-40% of information is transmitted using verbal ones.

A feature of body language is that its manifestation is due to the impulses of our subconscious, and the lack of the ability to fake these impulses allows us to trust this language more than the usual, verbal way of communication. Body language can be faked, but for a very short time, because soon, the body will involuntarily transmit signals that contradict its conscious actions. Faking and imitating body language over a long period of time is difficult, but it is helpful to learn how to use positive, open gestures to successfully communicate with others, and to get rid of gestures that carry a negative, negative connotation.

A large number of gestures and body movements are used in communication. Let us pay attention only to those gestures and body movements that are often encountered in everyday life and which may become useful when discussing contracts or talking with other people.

Collection of gestures

As in agriculture, where it is impossible to single out a single influencing factor, so in the study of body language it is impossible to single out one gesture and consider it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, speaking lies. Depending on other gestures that accompany this scratching, one can draw a conclusion and correctly interpret. In a language, in order to understand the true meaning of a word, one must construct a sentence. So it is in body movements - you need to see the whole set of gestures in order to understand their true meaning.

For example, critical evaluative attitude: propping up the cheek with the index finger while the other finger covers the mouth and the thumb rests under the chin. The next confirmation of the critical attitude is firmly crossed legs, the position of the second hand across the body, as if protecting it, and the head and chin are tilted.

If a person, after you ask him for his attitude to what was said, begins to assure in his full agreement, this means that he is lying, or that his verbal communication with you is incongruent with his gestures. What would you say, for example, about a politician who, standing on the podium, clasps his arms across his chest (defensive posture), lowers his chin (critical or hostile posture) and tells the audience how receptive and friendly he is to the ideas of young people?

The context in which a gesture is made is as important as the totality of gestures. If a person sits at a bus stop in winter with crossed legs, arms crossed tightly on his chest and his head lowered, then most likely this means that he is cold. However, if a person in exactly the same position sits at the negotiating table, then his gestures should most definitely be interpreted as having a negative or defensive attitude towards the situation.

Factors affecting the interpretation of gestures

If a person has a weak handshake, then often this indicates a weakness of his character. However, if a person has arthritis, then a weak handshake protects the hand from pain. Also, people in professions where sensitive fingers are required - artists, surgeons, musicians - try to avoid shaking hands, and if they are forced to use a gentle handshake. Sometimes people who wear uncomfortable or tight clothing are constrained in their movements, which affects the expressiveness of their body language. These are rare cases, but they should be taken into account.

How to tell a lie without revealing yourself

The problem with lying is that our subconscious works automatically and independently of us, so our body language gives us away. When we tell a lie, even with a conscious attempt to suppress all kinds of body movements, the body gives out a lot of microsignals. It can be either a curvature of the facial muscles, dilation or narrowing of the pupils, perspiration on the forehead, blush on the cheeks, rapid blinking, and much more, which signals a deception.

In order not to give yourself away at the moment of uttering a lie, you need to make sure that there is no review of your posture. When the interlocutor has the opportunity to fully view you, if the room has good lighting, do not try to lie. And on the contrary, sitting at the table, when the body is partially hidden, or talking on the phone, it is much easier to hide a lie.

Zones and territories

Territory is a space that a person considers his own, as if this space is an extension of his physical body. Like animals, a person has his own territory, an air shell surrounding his body, and its size depends on the density of the population of people in the place where this person lives.

The spatial territory is conditionally divided into 4 clear zones.

Intimate area- 15-46 centimeters. This is the main zone, and it is guarded by man especially zealously. Only those persons with whom you are in close emotional contact are allowed to enter this zone. In this zone there is also a subzone with a radius of 15 centimeters, which can only be penetrated through physical contact.

Private zone from 46 cm to 1.2 m. This is the distance that usually separates us when we are at parties, official receptions, evenings, friendly meetings.

social zone from 1.2 to 3.6 meters. At this distance, we keep from strangers, for example, a visitor or a worker doing repairs in the house. From people we don't know very well.

public area(more than 3.6 meters). When we are talking to a large group of people, it is most convenient to stand exactly at this distance from the audience.

Practical use of zonal space

Usually the intimate area is violated for two reasons. If the "violator" is our loved one, or if the "violator" shows hostile feelings. A person is quite tolerant of the intrusion of an outsider into personal or social areas, while the intrusion into an intimate area causes a "state of alert". At the same time, the heart begins to beat faster, adrenaline is released into the blood, and it rushes to the brain and muscles. This means that if you touch the hand or hug someone you just met in a friendly way, it may cause a negative reaction in him, even if he continues to smile at you. Therefore, if you want people to feel comfortable in your company, keep your distance. So, for example, if you got a job, then at first it will seem to you that colleagues treat you coolly, although in fact you are kept at a distance from the social zone. However, after some time, when colleagues get to know you better, you will be allowed to move within the personal zone. An exception to the rule requiring strict observance of the remote zone are cases where the spatial zone of a person is due to his social position. For example, the manager of a company and his subordinate may be fishing companions, and while fishing, they cross both the personal and intimate zones of each other. At work, the manager will keep the subordinate at a distance from the social zone, observing the unwritten rules social stratification.

palm strength

From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and gullibility. Oaths are given with the palm over the heart, and the oath is given by raising an open palm.

Most The best way to find out if a person is frank and honest with you at the moment is to observe the position of his palms. For example, when people are completely frank with you, they hold out one or both of their palms to you. In a frank conversation, the palms are fully or partially open. Like other body language gestures, this is a completely unconscious gesture, it tells you that the interlocutor is telling the truth at the moment. If a person is trying to hide something, then during the explanation he will hide his hands in his pockets or keep them crossed. This begs the question - if you keep your palms open, you can lie, and no one will notice. The answer is other gestures that become visible to the observant person. An interesting observation has been made that most people cannot tell lies if their palms are open. With open palms, you can make other people lie less.

There are three basic palm command gestures: palm up position, palm down position, and pointing finger position. Consider an example where you ask to move a box to another corner of the room. In doing so, we will use the same words, tone of voice and facial expressions.

The position of the open palm up is a trusting, non-threatening gesture, reminiscent of the gesture of asking on the street. With this gesture, a person does not feel any pressure, and under the conditions of subordination, he will perceive this as a request from you.

When the palm is down, your gesture immediately has a hint of bossiness. In this case, a feeling of hostility may arise in the person to whom you are addressing. If this gesture is addressed to your colleague, then he may not fulfill this request, as if he did it with his palm up.

With the palm clenched into a fist with the index finger extended, you force the person into submission. If you have a habit of pointing your finger, try to replace this gesture with palms up or down, and you will see that you will make great progress in communicating with others.

Handshakes

Researchers argue that handshakes are a relic of the primitive communal era - open palms showed their defenselessness. Since then, much has changed, and now the handshake is carried out at the moment of greeting or farewell. We will look at different types of handshakes.

Dominant handshake

Aggressive type of handshake, because. it gives a person little chance of establishing a relationship of equal partnership. This look is characteristic of aggressive, domineering men who are always the initiators of a handshake and a hand gesture, with the palm pointing down, forcing the person to obey.

A way of dealing with a dominant handshake, "disarming".

When you take your hand for a handshake, take a step forward with your left foot.

Move your right foot forward and stand in front of this person on the left, moving into his personal zone.

Place your left foot behind your right and shake your partner's hand.

This will allow you to align your hand position and turn the person's hand into a compliant handshake. This will allow you to become the master of the situation.

Another way to deal with a dominant handshake is to grab the person's hand from above by the wrist, followed by shaking. However, this handshake should be used with certain precautions.

Embracing handshake (glove)

Commonly used by politicians. This handshake emphasizes that the person is honest and can be trusted. However, such a handshake when meeting people can have the opposite effect. After such a handshake, the interlocutor may treat you with distrust and caution. Such a handshake can only be applied to good acquaintances.

Impartial, unemotional handshakes

They characterize a person's innocence. Such a handshake should be avoided, as it is associated with touching something sluggish, lifeless.

Shaking an unbent, straight hand

Characterizes an aggressive person. The main purpose of such a handshake is to keep a distance and prevent a person from entering his intimate zone. Often seen in people who grew up in countryside where they have a wider intimate area. The villagers will lean forward or even balance on one leg.

Fingertip shaking

Describes self-doubt. As in the previous case, the purpose of such a handshake is to keep the partner's hand at a comfortable distance.

A handshake in which the initiator pulls his hand towards him

It characterizes either self-doubt, when a person feels normal only within his own personal zone, or an attitude towards a nation, which is characterized by a narrower intimate zone.

Shaking with both hands.

Characterizes sincere trust or depth of feelings. At the same time, attention should be paid to where left hand. If the left hand is taken by the elbow, then this expresses more feeling than when wrapping around the wrist. If the hand is placed on the shoulder, then this expresses more feeling than when it is on the forearm. In general, wrapping around the wrist or shoulder is only possible between close friends or relatives.

Other notable gestures and movements

Characteristic

Sit astride a chair

It characterizes the desire to close with a kind of shield. As a rule, these are people of the dominant type who try to control people or dominate them if they get bored with the topic of conversation. As a rule, this is a very cautious person and can quite unexpectedly sit on a chair astride. The easiest way to disarm the "rider" is to stand up or sit behind him, from which he will feel the vulnerability of the rear and change his position, becoming less aggressive. However, if the person is sitting astride a swivel chair, carry on a conversation. Stand on top of him and look down at him, stepping into his personal territory. If a “lover of sitting astride a chair” comes to you, put him in a stable chair with armrests, which will not allow him to take his favorite position.

Collecting non-existent villi.

This gesture characterizes disagreement with the opinion or attitude of other people, but not the determination to express one's point of view. At the same time, the person sits, turned away from the interlocutors, and looks at the floor. This is the most popular gesture of disapproval. If you are not indifferent to the opinion of all participants, when observing such a gesture, you can turn to this person with open palms, “I see, do you have any thoughts on this issue?” At the same time, lean back, open your palms and wait for an answer. If a person agreed with you, but continues to "collect villi" - ask him directly about the objection that he does not dare to say.

Head positions

Characteristic

Head nod

An easy way to detect implicit objection is to see if the person is using a negative head shake when verbally agreeing with you.

Straight head position

It is typical for a person who is neutral about what he hears. The head is usually motionless, with occasional slight nodding.

tilted head

Shows interest in what is being said. If you are in a conversation and observe the tilt of the head to the side, the rest of the chin on the hand and the tilt of the body forward, then your message has interested the listeners. If you want to win over a person, just tilt your head to the side and nod your head from time to time.

Head tilt down

Characterizes a negative and even condemning attitude. The low head tilt is usually accompanied by a series of gestures of critical appraisal. In order to raise interest, you need to do something to raise the heads of the listeners.

Laying hands behind the head

This gesture characterizes self-confident people with a sense of superiority over others. This gesture is also characteristic of "know-it-alls" and many people get annoyed when they see this gesture. This gesture can also be used as a sign emphasizing that a person has “staken out” this territory. If a person at the same time crosses his legs in the form of the number four, this means that he is also prone to discussion and argument. There are several ways to interact with people using this gesture. If you want to find out the reason why a person behaves with a sense of superiority, lean forward with palms outstretched and say, "I see what you know. Could you comment on this problem." Then lean back in your chair, leave your palms in the field of view and wait for an answer. Try to get the person to change position. To do this, you can take some object and, putting it away, ask - "Have you seen this?" You can copy his pose. Often, in order to express your agreement with the interlocutor, it is enough to repeat his posture.

You can often hear the phrase - I read it in my eyes. Researchers believe that the eyes transmit the most accurate and open signals of all human communication signals, since they occupy a central position in the human body, and the pupils behave completely independently. In daylight, the pupils can expand and contract depending on the change in attitude to the conversation. If a person is excited, his pupils dilate four times against the normal state. An angry, gloomy mood causes the pupils to contract, as if “snake eyes” are obtained. When you talk to people or negotiate, look into the pupil of the person, and the pupil will tell you the truth about the thoughts of the interlocutor.

If the person is being dishonest or hiding something, their eyes meet yours less than 1/3 of the time they interact. If a person's eyes meet yours for more than 2/3 of the time of communication, and the pupils are dilated, this means that they like you. If the pupils are constricted, this means a negative attitude towards you.

But not only the longitude and frequency of the gaze are important, but also the geographical area of ​​the face and body to which the gaze is directed, as this affects the outcome of the negotiations. It takes a long practice of communicating with people in order to effectively apply body language and improve the nature of communication with other people.

look type

Characteristic

business look

When conducting business negotiations, imagine that there is a triangle on the forehead of your interlocutor. Directing your gaze to this triangle, you will create a serious atmosphere, and your interlocutor will feel that you are in a businesslike mood. Provided that your gaze does not fall below the eyes of the interlocutor, you will be able to control the course of negotiations with the help of your gaze.

social look

If your gaze falls below the eye level of another person, an atmosphere of social communication is created. Studies have shown that during social communication, interlocutors also look into a conditional triangle, only in this case it is located on the line of the eyes and the mouth area.

Sideways glance

Used to convey interest or hostility. If it is accompanied by slightly raised eyebrows or a smile, it means interest. If accompanied by downturned eyebrows, a furrowed forehead, or downturned corners of the mouth, it signifies a suspicious, hostile, or critical attitude.

Covered eyelids

This gesture is subconscious and is an attempt by a person to remove you from view, because you are tired, or become uninteresting, or he feels superior to you. If a person emphasizes his superiority over you, his closed eyelids are combined with a tilted head and a long look, known as a look down. If you notice this look in your interlocutor, keep in mind that your behavior causes a negative reaction and something needs to be changed if you are interested in successfully ending the conversation.

Unfortunately, within the framework of one "Agricultural Workshop" it is impossible to talk about the whole variety of gestures and their combinations. We only tried to select the most common and universal gestures, give them a description and an appropriate interpretation.

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Chapter 6
Hand and thumb gestures

Portrait of Napoleon by Jacques-Louis David, 1812.

We see the French emperor in his favorite pose. I wonder if he had a stomach ulcer or if he had a good day?

The human hand consists of 27 small bones connected by a network of ligaments and tendons. The joints of the hand are driven by dozens of small muscles. Scientists have noticed that the neural connection between the brain and the hand is much stronger than any other part of the body. Hand gestures allow you to clearly imagine the emotional state of a person. Since the hands are usually in front of the body, it is very easy to notice such signals. Most people have their own "signature" gestures that are used all the time. It is enough to remember Napoleon, and each of us will imagine a man with his hand tucked over the side of his waistcoat, with his thumb sticking out. We believe that many of you have a not very decent explanation for such a pose. Someone will suggest that the emperor suffered from a stomach ulcer or a skin disease. Perhaps it was considered indecent at the time to keep your hands in your pockets. Maybe Napoleon's hand was mutilated. And suddenly he kept a perfumed sachet over the side of his waistcoat, which he often brought to his nose. Or maybe the artist simply did not know how to depict a brush well. The reality is very simple. In 1738, before the birth of Napoleon, François Nivelon published The Book of Decent Conduct, in which he described the emperor’s favorite posture as follows: “The hand laid over the side of the coat is the most common posture of a noble person, full of masculinity and at the same time modesty” . When Napoleon saw his portrait, he said to the artist: "You understand me, my dear David." So, such a gesture emphasizes the high position of a person.

History books say that such a gesture was not the most favorite pose of the emperor. He didn't even pose for a portrait. The artist drew it from memory and chose the pose himself. But the essence of the hand gesture he chose is absolutely obvious. It is quite clear that Jacques - Louis David, being an artist, was well aware of the power and meaning of body language.

Napoleon's height was only 1.64 m. Those who saw only the portrait claimed that the emperor's height was at least 1.85 m.

What are the hands talking about?

For thousands of years, a person's position in society determined how many people had to silently listen to his speech. The higher the status of a person, the more people had to remain completely silent during his speech. In ancient Rome, a person of low birth could be executed if he inadvertently interrupted Caesar's speech. Today we live in a society dominated by freedom of speech. Anyone who wants to express their opinion can do so at any time. In the UK, Australia and the US, it is permissible to interrupt the president or prime minister. In 2003, when Tony Blair took part in a televised discussion about the Iraq crisis, the audience slapped the prime minister mercilessly in dissent. In many countries, brush movements play the role of a kind of "punctuation marks" in oral speech. The raising of hands is characteristic mainly of Italians and French. In England, you rarely see such a gesture, unless you say something that a true Englishman cannot agree with.

In Italy, the order of speeches is very simple: a person raises his hand, receives the floor and speaks. Listeners keep their hands down or behind their backs. If you want to insert a word, you will have to raise your hand. This can be done either by looking around and making sure that there are no others willing, or by touching a person who was also about to raise his hand and take the floor. It seems to many that Italians who talk to each other are always in close relations, since they constantly touch each other. In reality, they simply interrupt each other and take the floor.

In this chapter, we will talk about the most common hand and thumb gestures that we have to deal with almost constantly.

Tie an Italian's hands behind his back and he'll be left speechless.

Watch how the person sums up a discussion in which different points of view were expressed. You will immediately understand whose side he is on. In such a situation, the person raises one hand, palm up, and states the first point of view, and then raises the other hand and states the arguments of the other side. Those arguments that seem right to a person will be presented accompanied by a dominant hand: that is, right for right-handers or left for left-handers.

Hand gestures immediately grab attention, enhance the impact of the message, and help the person remember the information. At the University of Manchester, Geoffrey Beatty and Nina McLachlin did an interesting experiment. Participants had to listen to stories related to cartoon characters. The narrator, who spoke to one group, made various gestures - he imitated running, drying his hair with a hair dryer, spreading his arms to the sides, showing a fat man - an opera singer. The other told the story in an absolutely dispassionate manner, without making any gestures. After half an hour, the participants in the experiment were asked to repeat what they were told about. The group that listened to the story, accompanied by gestures, showed a higher degree of remembering details. From this we can conclude that gestures contribute to the memorization of information.

In this chapter, we will discuss the 15 most common gestures that you probably see every day and talk about their meaning.

Recently, our friend came to us, who was going to spend a vacation in a ski resort. During the conversation, she leaned back in her chair, smiled broadly, rubbed her palms and exclaimed: “I just can’t wait!” With her gesture, she non-verbally let us know that she expected a lot from this trip.

Rubbing the palms expresses positive expectations. Throwing dice, a person rubs them in his hands for a while as a sign of hope for a positive outcome of the game for himself. The master of ceremonies rubs his palms and says: "So, now we have the next speaker." An overjoyed salesman bursts into his boss's office, rubbing his palms, and says, "We just got a huge order!" However, when the waiter rubs his palms at the end of dinner and asks, “Anything else, sir?”, he nonverbally lets you know that he is counting on a good tip.

Demonstration of positive expectations

The speed of rubbing the palms indicates for whom the realization of the expectations experienced will be favorable. For example, you want to buy a house and come to a realtor. You talk about your wishes, the realtor rubs his palms vigorously and says: “I have a house suitable for you!” In this case, the realtor demonstrates his expectations that the results will be favorable for you. But how would you feel if the realtor starts rubbing his palms very slowly, even while saying the same words? You will subconsciously feel that he expects profitable results for himself, and not for you, the results of the transaction.

The vigorous rubbing of the palms indicates for whom the realization of expectations will be beneficial.

Salespeople are taught to use palm rub when telling potential buyers about the merits of products and services. Vigorous rubbing of the palms helps to bring buyers out of the defensive mood. If, for example, the buyer vigorously rubs his palms and says: “Let's see what you can offer me!”, The seller immediately understands that the chances of selling a product or service are very high.

"I have a great offer for you!"

When analyzing this gesture, always take the context into account. A person who vigorously rubs his palms while standing at a bus stop on a frosty winter day is unlikely to have positive expectations about the bus. He's probably just cold.

Rubbing the tip of the index finger or several fingers with the thumb is usually regarded as a signal of expectation of receiving money. The person seems to be rubbing a coin between his fingers. Such a gesture is often used by street vendors who promise a big discount, or those who want to borrow money from acquaintances.

However, when communicating with clients, professionals should avoid such a gesture, as it causes negative associations with money.

“We will make good money on this business!”

At first glance, such a gesture symbolizes confidence, since people often smile at this. However, we once watched a negotiator in this position tell us about a failed deal. He spoke, and his fingers gradually turned white. At the end of the story, we had the impression that they were grappling forever. Linked hands show an anxious, negative attitude. This gesture is very fond of Queen Elizabeth, especially during royal visits or public appearances. At the same time, her hands usually lie on her knees.

Hands clasped in a raised position are a sign of dissatisfaction, even if the person is smiling

Research on this gesture by negotiators Nirenberg and Calero has shown it to be a display of dissatisfaction. If such a gesture appears during negotiations, it means that a person experiences negative, disturbing feelings in relation to what is happening. Usually people sit in this position when they feel that they are not able to convince their opponents or that they have lost the negotiations.

Hands clasped in center position

Hands clasped in a lowered position

Hands can be clasped in three positions: in front of the face, on the table or on the knees, and in the standing position - at the level of the groin.

We found a relationship between the height of the clasped hands and the degree of dissatisfaction. The higher the linked hands are located, the more difficult it is to agree with a person. Noticing that the interlocutor has clasped his hands, you should try to move him to another position: offer him a drink or ask him to hold something. Otherwise, the negative attitude will persist, and eventually your interlocutor will cross his arms in one way or another, forming an impenetrable barrier.

As we have said, gestures, like words in a sentence, are interconnected. Body language signals should always be interpreted in context, taking all circumstances into account. The Spire is the exception to the rule, as it most often appears in isolation. During this gesture, a person joins the tips of his fingers in a kind of spire of a cathedral and at the same time sometimes shakes his hands back and forth.

This person is confident that he knows the correct answer.

We noticed that the "spire" often occurs in the communication of the boss and subordinates. This gesture speaks of confidence and authority. It is often used by managers when giving instructions to subordinates. The “spire” is especially common among lawyers, accountants and senior managers. Such a gesture is characteristic of people who are confident in themselves and in their own superiority. He immediately makes it clear that such a person knows his worth.

President Chirac and Jerry Adams sometimes like to impersonate the Lord God himself

Sometimes the "spire" develops into a prayer gesture - that is, a person wants to be like the Lord God himself. We do not recommend using this gesture if you want to gain the trust of the interlocutor, as it is often perceived as a sign of arrogance and complacency

If you want to look confident and show that you know all the answers, such a gesture will help you do this.

Imagine this scene: you are playing chess and you have to make a move. You bring your hand over the chessboard and touch the figure with your finger, indicating that you are going to play it. And at this moment, you notice that your opponent leaned back in his chair and folded his fingers into a “spire”. Thus, he non-verbally lets you know that he is completely confident in your next move and is not at all afraid of it. So you have a direct reason to change your intention. You touch another piece and continue to watch the opponent. If he interlocks his fingers or crosses his arms in one way or another, then he does not like your possible move, and you should do just that.

Lowered "spire"

The "spire" has two options: raised and lowered. An elevated "spire" appears when a person expresses his point of view or expresses his own ideas. The lowered "spire" is characteristic of those who carefully listen to the interlocutor.

Women more often choose the second option of such a gesture. If the raised "spire" is accompanied by tilting the head back, you are dealing with a self-satisfied, arrogant person.

Although the “spire” is generally a positive signal, in different situations its meaning may be different. Imagine that you are talking about your idea. During the presentation, you managed to notice a number of positive signals - open palms, leaning forward, nodding, etc. And suddenly, at the end of the speech, your interlocutor folds his fingers into a “spire”.

If the “spire” is accompanied by a number of other positive gestures and appears at the moment when you tell the interlocutor about the possibility of solving his problem, then you can safely continue counting on a positive reaction. If the "spire" is accompanied by a chain of negative gestures - such as crossing arms or legs, looking away and putting hands to the face, the interlocutor is confident that he will be able to refuse you or get rid of you. In both cases, this gesture expresses confidence, but in one case the outcome of the conversation is positive, and in the other it is negative. The result is influenced by the gestures preceding the "spire".

The hands are always in sight, giving out your emotional state and attitude to what is happening. It is quite difficult to learn many body language signals at once, but hand gestures can be worked out to automatism. This will help you control yourself and make the right impression on others. By learning to correctly interpret hand gestures, you will look more confident and be able to win more than one chess game.

face demonstration

This gesture cannot be considered negative. This is an extremely positive signal that arises in the process of courtship. Most often it is used by women and passive homosexuals who want to attract male attention. The woman folds her arms over each other and rests her chin on them. She seems to put her face in a window so that men can admire it.

Face Showcase - This woman presents her face in the best possible way so that men can admire her

If you want to flatter a woman (sincerely or out of politeness), noticing such a gesture, you can safely do it.

Hands folded behind the back

The Duke of Edinburgh and other men of the British royal family often walk with their heads up, their chins out and their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Such a gesture is typical for state leaders, patrol officers, school principals strolling along the playground, senior officers and senior managers.

This gesture expresses superiority, confidence and authority. A person openly demonstrates his most vulnerable parts of the body: stomach, heart, groin and throat, subconsciously expressing his own fearlessness. Our experience is that by assuming a similar posture in a stressful situation, such as during an interview or in a dentist's office, you will immediately feel more confident and even authoritative. The law of cause and effect will come into play.

Gesture of superiority and confidence - back and front view

In our work with police officers, we have found that unarmed officers constantly assume this position, while rocking slightly on their toes in order to visually increase their height. Armed police officers rarely adopt this posture, preferring to keep their hands down or tuck their fingers into their belts and show their thumbs. The weapon gives the officer sufficient authority, and he does not need to lay his hands behind his back to emphasize his position.

However, people do not always place their hands behind their backs, palm to palm. Sometimes a person wraps one hand around the wrist with the other, as shown in the picture. This is a signal of dissatisfaction and an attempt to pull yourself together. One hand tightly wraps around the wrist or forearm of the other, as if trying to keep it from striking.

The higher the capture, the more dissatisfied or annoyed your interlocutor is. In the next picture, you can see that the person is struggling to contain himself. His mood is much more negative than that of the one in the first picture. The man's hand was wrapped around his other arm above the elbow, not at the wrist. This gesture can be considered a clear illustration of the expression "keep yourself in control."

Grasping the wrist behind the back

Grasping the arm above the elbow

Wrapping the arm behind the back is often seen in courtrooms when opponents face off. So are the sellers who are in the "buying" zone, and patients waiting for the doctor. This gesture betrays an attempt to overcome nervousness. If this posture is also characteristic of you, try to change it to a palm-to-palm gesture. You will immediately feel more confident.

Show thumbs up

As already mentioned, showing the thumbs is a sign of superiority. In palmistry, thumbs testify to the strength of character and ego of a person. The body language cues associated with the thumbs also indicate self-importance. The thumbs are used to emphasize dominance, self-confidence, and sometimes aggressiveness. Thumb gestures are secondary and usually go in a chain. Showing the thumbs is a positive signal that is part of the posture of a confident person who wants to emphasize their own superiority. Men often use these gestures in the presence of attractive women. Such a posture is characteristic of people occupying a high position and well dressed. You are unlikely to see a bum in a similar position.

Thumb show

In this position, people often sway on their toes to visually increase their height.

Thumbs in pockets

This gesture is characteristic of both men and women, confident in their high position and superiority over others. This is one of the favorite gestures of Prince Charles, betraying his mood. In a working environment, a similar gesture is characteristic of a boss who walks around the room where his subordinates work. When the chief is absent, his deputy can take such a pose. But none of the subordinates will ever put their hands in their pockets, sticking out their thumbs, in the presence of the boss.

Prince Charles put his hands in his pockets, but at the same time shows a thumbs up

Pay attention to the position of the interlocutor's thumbs, as they can give out a mood that contradicts the words. Imagine a lawyer who, speaking before a jury, says in a soft, low voice: “In my humble opinion, ladies and gentlemen…”, but at the same time he gives a thumbs up and throws his head back, literally “turning up his nose”.

Lawyer pretending to be modest

The jury will immediately feel the insincerity and arrogance of the lawyer. If he really wanted to appear humble, he would have to approach the jury with his coat open, palms open, and leaning forward to appear shorter.

"You look honest intelligent person", says the lawyer. “I would have answered you in the same way, but, unfortunately, I have just taken the oath,” the witness replies.

People often stick their thumbs out of their back pockets (see picture) as if trying to hide their dominance. Until the 60s, such a gesture was unusual for women, but then they began to wear trousers and began to play a more important role in society, so today such a gesture is not uncommon among women.

Another very common chain of gestures is crossing the arms on the chest with the simultaneous demonstration of the thumbs. This signal has a dual meaning. He simultaneously shows a defensive or negative attitude (arms crossed) and superiority over the interlocutor (thumbs up). Usually this posture appears during a conversation. If a person is standing at the same time, then he can swing on his toes.

Showing thumbs is a sign of confidence and authority

The thumb can be seen as a signal of disrespect or derision, especially if it is pointed in the direction of the interlocutor. For example, a husband chatting with buddies might point his thumb at his wife and say, "She's always nagging at me, asking for a fight." Naturally, such a gesture irritates most women, especially when it is made by a man. The habit of pointing with the thumb is unusual for women. They use this gesture extremely rarely and only in relation to people they actively dislike.

This man is negative, but aware of his superiority

“She always saws me!”